FINAL DRAFT -- Copyright 1999. All Rights Reserved. This is the FAQ for MOO-bashes, specifically focusing on those held in the eastern states of our great United States. The editor is V.Dentata (#89112), who urges you to contact her rectally with questions or comments.
Official LambdaMOO Bash Frequently Asked Questions Sheet
Monday, February 08, 1999, Version 3.03.
Author/Owner/Editor: V.Dentata (#89112) on LambdaMOO.

This document was conceived through artificial means and written 
as a way to inform inquirers about the nature and ways of the 
LambdaMOO Bash.


The author uses the LambdaMOO gender, 'Spivak' to refer to the 
author's self as well as to generic participants in the author's 
FAQ. The root pronouns for the gender, 'Spivak', are as follows:

              Spivak        Feminine     Masculine
Subjective:   e             she          he
Objective:    em            her          him
Possessive:   eir           her          his

Other familiar pronouns can be extrapolated: 'emself', et cetera.

TABLE OF CONTENTS: I. >>OF PARTICULAR IMPORTANCE TO A NEW BASHER II. DEFINITIONS 1. What is a FAQ? 2. What are MOOs? 3. >>What's a MOOer? 4. >>What is LambdaMOO? 5. >>What is a LambdaMOO Bash? 6. >>What is RL? 7. What is VR? 8. What is safer sex? III. HISTORY 1. When did Bashes start? 2. >>What Bashes have happened so far? 3. What other bashlike parties happened in living memory? IV. MORE INFORMATION 1. >>Where can I get more information (besides this FAQ)? 2. I don't live within walking/driving/flying/etc. distance of the next bash. How can I attend bashes? 3. What other MOOing groups meet in RL (from LambdaMOO)? 4. What MOO objects keep track of bashes that are currently being planned? 5. How do I keep track of who's throwing bashes in the near or far future? 6. Assuming I have a LambdaMOO account, how do I join the 'bash channel'? V. CUSTOMS 1. >>What does "Don't freak the normals" mean? 2. >>Should I bring a camera? I heard there was some debate about photography. 3. What's all this I hear about sex-parties and safer sex? 4. Who can I have sex with? 5. Can I bring weapons to a bash? 6. Will I get sex with gorgeous MOO women at bash just by showing up? 7. Should I bring my Scottish Bagpipe music CD and my Albanian Women's chanting CD? 8. >>Can I bring my non-MOOing friends? 9. >>Besides party, what else do people do at bashes? 10. If I have a smaller than average penis, will I feel intimidated at bash? 11. Am I expected to act like my character on the MOO? Do I have to come 'in character'? 12. How can I MOO from bash? VI. WHO ORIGINATED... 1. Flaming Depth Charge! 2. GDFON! 3. "Fuck you, fagboy!" 4. "Moons over My Hammy" 5. >>"How about a nice frosty mug of SHUT THE FUCK UP?" VII. GAMES 1. "Butt darts!" 2. Asshole 3. Strip Twister. 4. Dutch Oven. 5. Zen Tag. 6. Hour of Power VIII. ATTENDANCE MECHANICS 1. How do I make hotel reservations? 2. How do I get there? 3. Should I bring a sleeping bag? 4. How old do I need to be? 5. How much money should I bring? 6. Should I bring my own linens? IX. THEOLOGY 1. Who are the Four Horsemen? 2. Who are the Bash Gods? Please note that changes from revision to revision are noted with >> arrows marking relevant section headings. Also, if you wish to comment on a particular section of the FAQ please be sure to note the heading number (I, II, III, etc.) as well as the number of the question (1, 2, 3, etc.) within the heading.
Questions and Answers: I. >>OF PARTICULAR IMPORTANCE TO A NEW BASHER This is a list of potentially interesting and directly applicable FAQ questions for the first time basher. Some questions are in here more for humor than actual _Bash_On_5_Dollars_a_Day_ value. Please pay particular attention to: IV.1 >>Where can I get more information (besides this FAQ)? IV.3 What other MOOing groups meet in RL (from LambdaMOO)? IV.4 What MOO objects keep track of bashes that are currently being planned? V.1 >>What does "Don't freak the normals" mean? V.2 >>Should I bring a camera? I heard there was some debate about photography. V.3 What's all this I hear about sex-parties and safer sex? V.5 Can I bring weapons to a bash? V.8 Can I bring my non-MOOing friends? VIII ATTENDANCE MECHANICS (ALL) II. DEFINITIONS 1. What is a FAQ? FAQ stands for Frequently Asked Questions. FAQs are very popular for frequently traveled newsgroups on USENET. They answer frequently asked questions and serve as a good introduction for certain subcultures. FAQs are usually constantly updated and edited by both the author/editor and the community they describe. 2. What are MOOs? MOO stands for 'MUD, Object Oriented'. MUD, in turn, stands for 'Multi-User Dungeon' or 'Multi-User Dimension', depending on whom you talk to. MUDs were traditionally (though not wholly) virtual text-based realities where people played games like Dungeons and Dragons, fighting each other and monsters, and running around looting everything in sight. MOOs were traditionally (though again, not wholly) virtual text-based realities where people built communities and societies and spent a lot of time chatting with each other. MOO programming is object oriented, while MUD programming isn't necessarily. 3. >>What's a MOOer? A MOOer is a person who uses a MOO. A MOOer is only a cow if that cow uses a MOO and/or gives milk, particularly choklit. 4. >>What is LambdaMOO? LambdaMOO is one of the first-established MOOs (January ??, 1991), upon which many of its successors are based. LambdaMOO is where many people organize bashes to attend. There are several other MOOs, but this FAQ is about LambdaMOO bashes. If by some odd chance you come upon this FAQ completely out of context and you wonder how to get to LambdaMOO, point your telnet client at telnet:// and you're there (assuming its firewall is not being schizoid). LambdaMOO's current population is around 6000, but it's been known to get as high as 8500. Fortunately, the bashes don’t normally include this many people. The odor alone precludes it. 5. >>What is a LambdaMOO Bash? A bash is a party, and a LambdaMOO bash is a LambdaMOO party. Bashes are held off-line, in RL (Real Life). Formerly, computer and video games were avoided at bash, but these days Sony Playstations are a bash staple. Also, some Bashers choose to bring their laptops to bash, though there are severe bash penalties for MOOing from a bash. Bashes can be wild and noisy with many old virtual friends meeting up with each other in RL for the first time; often, "core bashers" are already painfully familiar with each other IRL (in real life). Often, a basher will get so drunk that e forgets where e is and will begin some kind of public display of physical affection. This is one of the reasons there's usually a lower limit on age of attendees to a bash. Some of the criteria for defining a bash are: - Bashes have more MOOers in attendance than non-MOOers. - Bashes are parties where everyone contributes to the cost (usually the hosts front the costs and then charge attendees some nominal fee for attending - hosts seek to break even, not make a profit). - Bashes run very late into the night - bashers end up going to sleep around 4 a.m. or don’t get to sleep most bash nights. - Bashes usually get thrown in hotels or in some unfortunate MOOer's private residence. - Bashes usually include drinking games (such as Asshole and I Never...) and Truth or Dare -- sometimes we also play Butt-Darts and Strip Twister. Other games are welcome. Bring your favorite. - Bashers are usually the living dead in the 'mornings' (usually until around noon or 1:00 p.m. local time). 6. >>What is RL? RL stands for 'Real Life' and refers to the fact that there is vast disagreement between MOOers about the state of reality on a MOO. Some see it as a game while others see it as a supplemental reality with very similar consequences and responsibilities to Real Life. Regardless, most MOOers make a distinction between 'Virtual Reality' (reality on a MOO) and Real Life. Real Life is the reality where non-MOO things happen. Face it - you're a mutant, and it's up to you to find out how to live and exist in normal society while you live your MOO life as well. 7. What is VR? VR stands for 'Virtual Reality' and in MOO contexts usually refers to the reality of the MOO itself. Sometimes MOOs are called text-based virtual realities. 8. What is safer sex? Carry and use condoms if you’re screwing around or hope to be screwing around! You never know where a basher has been. It’s even worse if you do know. Trust me. A good URL for safer sex information is III. HISTORY 1. When did Bashes start? It's hard to tell exactly when this string of LambdaMOO bashes erupted, but legend places the first bash in Cincinnati on September 28th, 1994. This was the first time mostly MOOers came to bash in a hotel suite and broke their brains. 2. >>What Bashes have happened so far? Bashes are defined as publicly announced gatherings of MOOers, usually more than 10 attendees. Some Past Bashes: St. Louis - June 11-13, 1993 - 15 attendees - Host: Wholeflaffer. Rockville, MD (DC NYE 1994-1995) - December 30, 1994-January 1, 1995 - MOO Year's Eve - ~30 attendees - Hosts: ArielSpryte and JipHipster. Cleveland, OH - March 10-12, 1995 - 25-30 attendees - Hosts: crayon and Gilmore. Rockville, CT (TWISTbash I)- May 5-7, 1995 - ~20 attendees - Host: TWIST. Chicago - May 26-29, 1995 - Memorial Day Weekend - 10 attendees - Host: Jason Rockville, MD (DC Independence Bash) - July 28-30, 1995 - ~40 attendees - Hosts: V.Dentata and Amazon_Bitch. Chapel Hill, NC (NC Bash) - September 1-4, 1995 - ~30 attendees - Hosts: Charlotte_Sometimes and MichaelG. Rockville, CT (Halloween TWISTbash) - October 20-22, 1995 - ~20 attendees - Host: TWIST. Cleveland, OH (Turkeybash)- November 24-26, 1995 - ~20 attendees - Host: Calico. Rockville, MD (DC NYE 1995-1996) - December 29-January 1 - ~60 attendees - Hosts: V.Dentata and Peri. Rochester, NY (Crotchbash 1996) – March 22 – March 24 - ?? attendees – Hosts: Gilmore and crayon. Cincinnati, OH (Cincibash 1996) – 3 May – 5 May? Chicago, OH (Memorial Day Bash 1996) – 24 May – 27 May - ?? attendees – Hosts: ?? and Hopita. Cleveland, OH (Wedding Bash 1996) – 07 June – 9 June 1996 - ?? attendees – Hosts: crayon and Gilmore. Virginia Beach, VA (BeachBitchBash 1996) – 26 July – 28 July - ?? attendees – Host: Amazon_Bitch. Rockville, CT (TWISTbash 1996) – 30 August – 02 September? - ?? attendees – Host: TWIST. Northern VA (Thanksgrieving Bash 1996) – 27 November – 01 December - ?? attendees – Hosts: V.Dentata and Peri. Rockville, MD (DC NYE 1996-1997) – December – January - 95 attendees – Hosts: V.Dentata and Chapman. Rockville, CT (TWISTbirthdaybash 1997) – 24 January – 26 January - ?? attendees – Host: TWIST. Rochester, NY (PSXbash 1997) – 14 February – 16 February - ?? attendees – Hosts: Gilmore and crayon. Rockville, CT (TWISTbash 4th of July Bash 1997) – 3 July – 6 July - ?? attendees – Host: TWIST. Seattle, WA (Seattlebash 1997) – 18 July – 20 July - ?? attendees – Hosts: Pensette and vix?. Martinsburg, WV (PSXbash 1997) – 01 August – 03 August - ?? attendees – Hosts: Eclipse and Sick. Northern VA – (ImpromptuWoobieBash 1997) – 29 August – 31 August - ?? attendees – Hosts: V.Dentata and Peri. Rockville, CT - (Helloween Bash 1997) - 31 October - 2 November - 20 attendees - 4 Horsemen. - Host: TWIST Dupont Circle, DC (DC NYE 1997-1998) – December – January - ?? attendees – Host: Lizard. Rockville, CT (TWISTbirthdaybash 1998) – January 30 – February 1 - ?? attendees – Hosts: TWIST and Roshi. Rochester, NY (Crotchbash 1998) – March 13 – March 15 - ?? attendees – Hosts: Gilmore and crayon. Northern VA (Sushibash 1998) – May 22 – May 25 - 15-20 attendees – 4 horsemen - Host: V.Dentata Pigeon Forge, TN (Goatlinburgbash 1998) – September 11 – September 13 - ?? attendees – Hosts: Mugwump and Eos. Rockville, CT (Helloweenbash 1998) – October 30 – 01 November - ?? attendees – Hosts: TWIST and Roshi. Silver Spring, MD(DC NYE 1998-1999) - December 31-January 4 - ?? attendees - Hosts: Bluesy and Lizard. Washington, DC (SushiBASH II) - May 28-May 31 - about 20 attendees (2 horsemen) – Hosts: V.Dentata and Etoile. 3. What other bashlike parties happened in living memory? In mid-late '92, in June or July, there was a gathering in Boulder including a dozen MOOers and a few MUDders for an evening of drinking, pizza and conversation. They called it a "bash". Fort Collins and Boulder college students held regular get- togethers among MOOers for a while after. Eventually the Colorado MOOers decided they had enough cohesion that they called themselves an official group and started *colorad-MOO to help them track what was going on. By that time, people in other areas had started having get- togethers. This was the first time these things were called "MOO bashes", but people were getting together before this, going back to the dawn of MOOtime when yduJ and the gang used to get together. -- Paraphrased from the narrative of a MOOer who shall not be named. [NOTE: V.Dentata (#89112) will be happy to include more such narratives if they come eir way.] IV. MORE INFORMATION 1. >>Where can I get more information (besides this FAQ)? You can get more information on LambdaMOO and MOOing in general from: LambdaMOO Itself: Bash Pictures: (spivak's archive) (Falc's Hall of Presidents) (Nim's MOO Gallery) MOOing Info: These references should get you started. If you need more, use your favorite browser on the web or other Internet based resource and search for keywords: LambdaMOO or MOO. 2. I don't live within walking/driving/flying/etc. distance of the next bash. How can I attend bashes? If you don't live within walking/driving/flying/etc. distance, you should move. Otherwise, you could hop on down to your local Radio Shack and have them order the latest MBTB (MOO-Bash Transporto Beam) for you. Shouldn't be more than $99.95 if you get it on sale. Actually, you can also try to share the cost of driving (the most popular method so far of attending bashes) with one or more people (assuming they all fit in whatever vehicle you're planning to take). You can also offer to drive part of the way, pay for or share gas and tolls, feed the driver french-fries, or whatever turns out to work for you. Just please make plans responsibly and live up to whatever you've offered to do. Advice from a contributor: "Cajole, flatter, and bribe your way into a ride with a local MOOer who is also attending. Expect to pay your fair share of gasoline expenses." (See also VIII.2.) 3. What other MOOing groups meet in RL (from LambdaMOO)? If you find other people around you (more common if you live near a big city), you can probably have RL friendships with them. Mini-bashes are also fairly common, especially in the DC area; these are sometimes impromptu parties for people in the area. Also, if you're a MOOer from the West Coast, try reading *BAM (Bay Area MOOers) - there are some memorable get-togethers in living memory that the BAMers set up. 4. What MOO objects keep track of bashes that are currently being planned? Beyond the mailing lists, *MOO-bash and *bash-announce, bash hosts commonly use $notes that they own to keep track of directions and hotel information, as well as using the Generic Invitation with RSVP (#52225) to keep track of potential attendees. If you keep up with the bash mailing lists, you will periodically see organizational announcements and updates for upcoming bashes, as well as for proposed bashes that don't yet have hosts. You might also have a look at the bash schedule (#54321). It's not all-inclusive nor always up to date, but it often has pointers to many of the RSVP objects. 5. How do I keep track of who's throwing bashes in the near or far future? For now, your best bet is to read and keep up with *bash- announce and *MOO-bash. At this time, *MOO-bash is more commonly used. Bash hosts and organizers usually post to these two lists to drum up publicity and support for their pursuits, as well as to garner important criticism about their organizational efforts. 6. Assuming I have a LambdaMOO account, how do I join the 'bash channel'? You need to have the Multi-communications feature (#25552), so first make sure you have that. If you don't, type '@add-feature #25552' to add that feature to your list of feature objects. Next, type '@xswitch bash' to join the bash channel. To get a complete list of commands for the Multi-communications feature, type 'help #25552'. V. CUSTOMS 1. >>What does "Don't freak the normals" mean? We stole this slogan from a small FAQ for another kind of event (PhilCON), but it works here just as well. As a basher, long- or short-term, you will find that your partying customs do not follow the norms of behavior, sleeping patterns, loudness, etc. for those who are within one city block of you, whether you are bashing in the deep farmlands of Kansas, a hotel, or in someone's home. It's prudent for you to avoid 'freaking the normals' so that you can continue bashing unhindered and unharassed. That is, do not scare anyone who potentially has authority over your (and the rest of the bashers’) subsequent actions. This may include the bash hosts, the hotel attendants, security guards, Ociffer Friendly, et cetera. Bashes have encountered police before (Cleveland Turkeybash), and please take our word for it - it isn't fun. It isn't bashable. It tends to dampen the celebratory mood quite a bit. Freaking the normals and attracting police attention is an extraordinarily bad idea. Your fellow bashers will not celebrate your presence if you attract police attention to their activities. Please also do not take this as an announcement of illegal activities at a bash. Bash hosts are extremely careful to make sure that underage drinking is not going on, and that other illegal activities are not going on (they have a personal stake in it - if the law comes in, they will be prosecuted for hosting such activities). Don't come to the bash thinking that you can do anything you want as long as you don't get caught. Again, be careful, don't freak the normals, don't get the police over to the bash, and do not come to a bash because you think it's a den of iniquity, filled with outlaws where your illegal activities will be welcome - because they won't be. If you have any further questions, PLEASE CONSULT YOUR BASH HOST. 2. >>Should I bring a camera? I heard there was some debate about photography. As should be obvious by now, two common themes for bashes in this FAQ are: 1) If you're not sure about what to do at a particular upcoming bash or if you're not sure about what to do while at a current bash, ASK A HOST And 2) If you're not sure that you have someone's permission before doing something that might matter to em, ASK EM FOR PERMISSION BEFORE PROCEEDING. These two guidelines carry nicely over to the question of whether or not photography is acceptable at a bash and whether or not you should publish these photos after you have them - on the World Wide Web (WWW) or elsewhere. Problems have arisen over whether or not bash rooms are 'public rooms' and whether or not activities in such 'public rooms' are public domain. Some arguments say that because bash rooms are 'public', it's okay to take pictures and web them without asking. Other people say that they should have and will take steps to assure that they have full control over who takes pictures of em and who sees the pictures afterwards. The best way to avoid problems with your hosts and the other bashers is to make very sure that it's okay to take pictures before you take them. You should also be sure that you have a person's permission before showing these pictures to other people, including publishing them on the web. Obviously, bash hosts are there not to be a police force but to have fun, so they're not going to be interested in resolving disputes you're involved in, especially when problems are easily avoided by taking care to have permission first. It would also be a good idea to be willing to take down pictures you might have put on the web if the people concerned with them change their minds about publicity in the future. If you choose to flout these guidelines, be sure you know you are doing so at your own risk. Experience has proven that people have deeply important personal arguments for wanting to have control over the taking and distribution of photos of their activities, and irritating em can cause very deep rifts between people involved. 3. What's all this I hear about sex-parties and safer sex? From V.Dentata (12/27/95): "...If you've never been to a BASH before, please be aware that it is NOT, I repeat, NOT a sex party, orgy, free-for-all free-love poke-whoever's-lying-there kinda thing. It is a social gathering at which some people who happen to be lovers or whatever go off to do PRIVATE things. Don't come to bash if you're coming to get laid (unless the object of your affections already knows and agrees you're gonna get laid, or might be persuaded). Hey, you might get lucky, but it is definitely NOT a given. Don't touch, hug, or kiss people you don't know without asking them first. New bashers are often confused by the fact that other bashers may touch each other rather freely, but this is based on months of partying and MOOing together. As a new basher you may not have permission to contact others in the same way. The only way to know is to ask, and adhere to the wishes of that person. In sum, if you're showing up because you think this is a sex party, DON'T ATTEND. I wouldn't want you to be disappointed. Yours, V." Many MOO-bash hosts supply safer sex materials because there can be a lot of sex and intimacy, especially between long-time bashers, and especially if there's drunkenness too, it just seems better to have a surplus of condoms and dams about, in case of emergencies. Just think of condoms as party favors. 4. Who can I have sex with? Again, come prepared - know who you like and who's coming, and you may well also want to talk with those people before you show up to bash. ASK PERMISSION before doing anything like touching or kissing, ESPECIALLY IF YOU AREN'T SURE IT'S ALL RIGHT. 5. Can I bring weapons to a bash? NO, DEFINITELY NOT. IF YOU HAVE ANY QUESTIONS, ASK THE BASH HOST(S) FOR THE BASH YOU ARE PLANNING ON ATTENDING. Please don't assume that what you think will be all right is all right for the host(s). These people are busy people who are volunteering time and money for your enjoyment - please respect that and make their lives a little easier. 6. Will I get sex with gorgeous MOO women at bash just by showing up? No. Not unless the sex you're expecting is the sex they're expecting too. Don't come to a bash all invested in getting sex without having discussed and confirmed this with the people you're expecting to get it from. There are people who come to the bash expecting to make out with one another, but that's consensual and pre-planned. Bashes are not harems or orgies - the people who attend have their own plans for having fun that may well not include you unless they specifically tell you so. 7. Should I bring my Scottish Bagpipe music CD and my Albanian Women's chanting CD? Bring all the music you like. If you manage to slip your CD into the player (assuming there is one), be prepared to fight off angry bashers if your music is not to their taste. Bashers so far like techno, dance and rock. There is occasionally Dream Theater, but that usually results in a pitched battle over CD player control. 8. >>Can I bring my non-MOOing friends? ASK YOUR BASH HOST FIRST. Bashes are usually only open to MOOers for attendance. If you’re planning to attend a bash, you should RSVP for yourself. If you want to bring a non-MOOing friend, you should RSVP and ask special permission from the host. Ask your host before you commit to being able to bring your friend. Hosts understand when your non-MOOing friend is the only person you can get a ride from, but they also need to know who you're bringing in order to estimate the number of people they're expecting. And so that they know they can come to you if there's any problem with your friend during the bash. "Guests will be evaluated on an individual basis. If they're not a MOOer, they're a guest, so please ASK FIRST. Most hosts don't have qualms about turning people away at the door, but that is icky and not fun -- so save the trouble and check if your guest is okay." -- Etoile 9. >>Besides party, what else do people do at bashes? In the mornings (afternoons) when everyone is finally awake, usually people will head out for brunch in a group, and those who can still walk may arrange a trip to a local attraction such as a strip bar. Also, traditionally, Sunday morning when people get ready to leave to return to their Real Lives, there's a group breakfast at some local innocent Denny's, Shoney's or other fine eating establishment. Sometimes there is ballistic use of foodstuffs, depending on the crowd. Don't dress in velvet! 10. If I have a smaller than average penis, will I feel intimidated at bash? Yes. You will feel intimidated, then we will string you up naked and sever your genitalia. NOTE: Never eat anything resembling a Vienna sausage at a bash unless you're SURE it's a Vienna sausage. 11. Am I expected to act like my character on the MOO? Do I have to come 'in character'? Many of us create different personas for the MOO. Some behave on MOO the same way they do IRL. With some exceptions, we're all human. Scientists are still trying to figure out what some attendees are. Behaving as you would on the MOO while at bash is entirely up to you as long as you don't do anything to someone without getting eir permission first. Whatever (nonviolent) personality has decided to possess your body that day is fine. Other bashers that have never met you before won't know the difference. Bashes are not generally considered role-playing events, however. Be advised that bashers more often address and remember each other by their MOO names than their RL names. Bashers may regard you with some suspicion if you refuse to identify yourself with a particular MOO character. 12. How can I MOO from bash? "Don't. MOOing while at a bash is generally discouraged, since it goes against the whole idea of coming to a bash -- socializing RL with other MOOers. However, if you feel the need to check your mail occasionally, the host will often provide a terminal from which this can be done. Bringing a laptop and calling out from the bash location would probably be okay ONLY if you were calling a number local to the bash." - Gilmore "The ability to MOO from a bash is dependent upon a couple of things. 1) Is there a computer handy? As we've seen from TWISTbashes, his computer is set up and occasionally available. Also, if you have a laptop with modem handy, you could MOO from a hotel-based bash. The other thing to consider. 2) You're a fucking geek. Don't MOO from a bash." - MutantNemesis "I MOO from bash all the time - what's the fucking problem?" - Peri "Get your own hotel room, bring your own laptop, and indulge in your solitary activity to your heart's content." -- Black_Widow VI. WHO ORIGINATED... 1. Flaming Depth Charge! A flaming depth charge (or FDC) is a mixed drink, prepared and drunk in the following fashion: A: Fill a mug/glass/cup with beer B: Fill a shot glass with amaretto, and top it with 151 rum C: Hold the shot in one hand and the beer in the other D: Have your bartender light the shot with a Bic or other flame-producing device E: Count to three, drop the shot (including the glass, idiot!) into the beer, and SLAM IT Jason introduced this drink into Bash culture. Current champion slamming times hover in the three-to-four-second region (TWIST, Gilmore, Vida_Blue, others). Beating or matching these times calls for a loud round of applause by the other bashers. Currently, the most interesting reinterpretation of FDC ingestion goes to Black_Widow who managed to ignite herself at DC NYE 1995-1996 bash. 2. GDFON! It stands for "God damned freak of nature". If you come to a bash, you are probably one of these. Gilmore originated this phrase. 3. "Fuck you, fagboy!" The catch phrase of a most annoying non-MOOer guest at the second Cleveland bash (Turkeybash). 4. "Moons over My Hammy" A disgusting dish prepared at Denny's. First popularized as morning-after fare by Amazon_Bitch during the traditional Saturday morning Denny's run. 5. >>"How about a nice frosty mug of SHUT THE FUCK UP?" We have Firesign to thank for this pithy sentiment shared by all bashers. VII. GAMES 1. "Butt darts!" Butt darts is a game probably originated by Cognac at the first 1995 TWISTbash. It involves gripping a quarter between one's (usually clothed) buttocks and attempting to drop it into another person's mouth. This may or may not become a drinking game. Beware chipped teeth, and consider using a jar instead of a mouth as the dropping target. 2. Asshole Asshole is a playing cards drinking game played at almost every bash of note. All players must come to the table with a drink (or other appropriate intoxication method). A first hand is played to determine the rank of players thereafter. Rank players from lowest to highest - Asshole, Vice Asshole, various members of the board, Vice President, President. Anyone with a higher rank can tell anyone with a lower rank what to do, including taking a drink for any reason whatsoever (but be careful about being power-hungry and abusive - if someone higher than you thinks you're being cruel, e can punish you for it, if e wants). Basic rules: An entire deck of cards (52) is dealt out to all the players. Play begins with the President leading a card. Players thereafter must play a card with equal or higher face value, or if they cannot play, they must take a drink. If a player plays a card of equal face value to the previous card, the player who would normally play afterwards is skipped, and must take a drink. When play is passed entirely around the table, or a 2 is played, the 'trick' is swept (sweeping away finished 'tricks' is usually the Asshole's job), and play begins again, with the last player to play a card beginning the new 'trick' (leading). Card face value is intuitive, except that a card with a face value of 2 is the highest rank, and sweeps even tricks played with pairs, triples or four of a kind. The variation of Asshole most played at bashes insists that no pair may be played without pairs being lead. Similarly, triples must be played only in tricks where triples were led, and four of a kind as well. For example, if a player wished to play triple 8's, e would have to wait until some other player lead a triplet of lower ranking than 8. When a player is down to eir last card, e must declare it. When a player plays all of eir cards, the order in which e went out (relative to the other players) determines eir rank for the next hand. The first one out of cards is the President, the second the Vice President, and the last player left with cards is the Asshole. Play may be interrupted at any time by the President (or any player with ranking higher than Asshole) when e calls a Board Meeting. When a Board Meeting is called, all players lower than the caller must begin drinking. Each player may stop drinking only when all eir higher-ranked players have stopped. Thus, usually, the caller stops drinking, then the player one lower may continue the meeting with all the subordinates. The Asshole can quickly get enormously drunk (lose) if there are too many board meetings, because e can only stop drinking when everyone else has. In some variations of Asshole (sometimes played at Bash), a player who's been President three times in a row may make a new rule. Samples of rules from past Asshole games are: "Anyone using the word 'drink' must take a drink." "Anyone who says 'the' must take a drink." "At the beginning of every hand, each player must make an original toast to the President." Cheating, in Asshole, while not officially sanctioned, is easy for players, especially higher-ranked players, to get away with. Some Bash Asshole players have been known to collaborate with other players in order to ensure their continued high-rankings. Some Presidents have been known to cheat openly, and punish complaining subordinates with orders to drink. This game can quickly get you drunk off your ass. 3. Strip Twister. Just like Twister, minimum two players. Whoever falls down first removes a piece of clothing. Socks count as one piece. Jewelry does not count. Play again until victim is nekkid. 4. Dutch Oven. Minimum two players. Players lie down in a bed under the covers. Players are to fart and then shove another player’s head under the covers, not letting victim(s) out until the cry for mercy and/or oxygen is heard. 5. Zen Tag. This game is described at the following URL: Find the appropriate clickable link and have at. 6. Hour of Power Another drinking game, this requires participants to drink a shot of beer every minute for an hour. Generally Corpse convinces the unwary to try this game. Much belching is had by all, and it's a deceptive game. The unprepared can quickly fall victim to the amount of alcohol involved. A non-drinking basher is usually used as the timer, and assistance is required to bring pitchers of beer into the Hour of Power room from the keg. VIII. ATTENDANCE MECHANICS 1. How do I make hotel reservations? Often the host(s) of the party will assist you in making reservations. If the bash is at a hotel then the hosts will probably be trying to book rooms at that hotel. If a host can reserve a large enough bank of rooms in a hotel, the room costs for the group usually drop significantly. If it's at a MOOer's house/apt., then hosts usually give out information about what hotels are available, with phone numbers/addresses. It’s up to you from there. It's best to ask your host(s) before making reservations. You can also follow the chatter on *MOO-bash or the announcements on *bash-announce. Also please note that hotel reservations generally require a credit card, which should be your own. Hosts can sometimes make exceptions to this, but don't assume they can - ASK. FINALLY, PLEASE BE CAREFUL NOT TO FREAK THE NORMALS - IF YOU KNOW THAT A HOST IS MAKING RESERVATIONS, PLEASE DO NOT CALL THE RESERVATIONS DESK YOURSELF ASKING WHERE THE 'ASS KICKING GOAT- SHAVING AND SATANIC WORSHIP INTERNET MOO PARTY' IS TO BE HELD AND HOW TO MAKE RESERVATIONS. IF YOU MUST MAKE YOUR OWN INQUIRIES, _****_ MAKE THEM DISCREETLY. Note that commonly, rooms are reserved in blocks under the group name of "Graphic Designers For Online Networking". Compare this acronym to the one found in Section VI.2. 2. How do I get there? Transportation is up to you. Those arriving by airplane can usually talk someone into picking em up at the airport. Hosts usually publish directions on *MOObash and *bash-announce for a variety of different approaching directions. Hosts have also been known to arrange for rides to and from airports and to give directions for using local public transportation as well. Again, your best bet is to ask the host(s) about what arrangements are already available, and if those don't meet your requirements, work on some that do. (See also IV.2.) 3. Should I bring a sleeping bag? If you plan to sleep in the bash rooms, bringing a sleeping bag would be a most excellent idea. The beds are usually hotly contested items, generally going to whoever crashes first. Crashing on a bed and attempting to sleep while partying is still in progress will probably not be very successful, but it is cheap. Also, note that hosts often make arrangements with the local hotels in order to make it 'okay' for hotel room purchasers to share a room that doesn't have enough beds for the people stuffed in there. This would be a perfect opportunity to bring a sleeping bag or two and cram some extra people in your room - which tends to make hotels more economical. 4. How old do I need to be? This is dependent on the host's ethics and/or caution level, but generally 18 is the minimum cutoff age, sometimes 21. If you are under either of these ages, it is suggested you discuss your attendance with the host of the bash you plan to attend. 5. How much money should I bring? How much do you want to spend? Obviously you want to bring enough for your room (which you'd have an idea of ahead of time) and food. Restaurants destroyed by MOOers are usually inexpensive places like Denny's, Perkins and Bob Evans. Being able to contribute the liquor fund is only appropriate and being able to buy/bring your own is even better. Freeloaders are generally regarded as a nuisance. 6. Should I bring my own linens? See VIII.3, but yes, especially at bashes thrown at houses, _especially_ when you're planning to crash there, bringing extra linens and pillows is an extraordinarily _good_idea_. If you've got surplus, and a convenient way to get it to bash, you might even give some thought to asking the Host(s) if e/they would like you to bring more than you'll need personally. For all our sakes', do bring changes of underwear. IX. THEOLOGY 1. Who are the Four Horsemen? The original Four Horsemen of Bash are TWIST, Gilmore, Corpse and Firesign, though there are rumored to be other viable incarnations. There are often stand-in Horsemen to be found if the originals are not available. The Horsemen are so named because of their amazing abilities to keep order and happiness among bashers. They function as extraordinarily good bouncers, as legendary yardsticks of the alcohol tolerance of others, and are one of the best and truest measures of how good you can expect a bash to be. According to Corpse, one of the aforementioned Four Horsemen, it's possible to gauge how good a Bash will be simply by knowing how many Horsemen will be in attendance. Any 'real bash' will have at least one Horseman present. Any core basher must attend any bash that all Four Horsemen plan to attend, or be ready for ridicule and inquest about eir absence. If the One True God allowed iconic worship, we'd have little figurines of the Four Horsemen all over the world. 2. Who are the Bash Gods? At a certain TWISTBash, this subject came under discussion at Bugaboo Creek, a restaurant that shall remain famous for the talking tree, moose, and fish, as well as for their surly wait- staff. V.Dentata, Gilmore and TWIST made up the original trinity, but others, like Cognac, have been suggested as well. There is some speculation about whether Bash Gods will fill out our theology and add complexity and subtlety to the art of figuring out how 'good' a bash will be by measuring its RSVP list.
Contributors: Vida_Blue, Gilmore, V.Dentata, Black_Widow, crayon, hopita, MichaelG, Charlotte_Sometimes, MutantNemesis, Linnea, Lizard, Brack, Puff, Dagard, Mlle.Chabrillon, Condor, alizarin, TMFKAN64, Nim, Etoile. Official LambdaMOO Bash Frequently Asked Questions Sheet Monday, February 08, 1999, Version 3.03. Author/Owner/Editor: V.Dentata (#89112) on LambdaMOO. Technical Comments: Etoile (#113614) on LambdaMOO. FINAL DRAFT -- Copyright 1999. All Rights Reserved.

UPDATE AUGUST 2004: Yes bashes do indeed still happen. Next weekend V.Dentata and I are hosting the 7th Annual SushiBash. If you're reading this, do me a favor and MOOmail me and let me know. Love, Etoile.
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